Love Over Money

Mornings begin slowly, sipping espresso while nibbling on a tiny little cookie at a nearby cafe, cobblestones firm beneath my feet instead of grass.

Afternoons are for a light lunch, the gym, and the writing that keeps a roof over my head, kibble in the kitties’ bowls, and magic mushrooms in the tins in my fridge.

Evenings are a shape-shifting cocktail of writing, music, relaxation, and rosé.

Beneath the new physical environment, the rebuilt life that made such an adventure possible rolls on, undisturbed and undistracted by the new wrapper.

———

I didn’t come to Austria to sightsee or seek peak experiences.

I’m a terrible tourist and have never traveled with those intentions.

Instead, my preferred way of travelling is simply to do daily life in a new place, enjoying the inherent differences that come with being in a new locale.

I’ve never understood the appeal of taking the kind of trips that you feel the need to have a vacation from once you return home. Nor have I ever wanted to turn to travel as an escape from my daily life. I’d rather have a life that I want to take with me.

Forget chasing the extraordinary.

Let me transplant the ordinary.

That desire is at the core of why I decided to leave Starbucks all those years ago.

Not just to build my own income source, but to build a life I loved.

I did well with the former, but not the latter.

The income came surprisingly fast, and carried me for a while…

Then faded, washed away by the consequences of not building a life I loved.

I got the order wrong, at least for me. Love over money, forever and always.

The last 19 months have been a slow, deliberate building of love.

Love for myself. 

Love for those connected to me. 

Love for those I come across.

Love for life.

I knew everything else I wanted would come after that love had been built, and that belief has been proven true. Not everything has arrived, but much has, and I know more is on the way. ‘Tis but a matter of momentum, consistency, and patience.

And to myself, I’m so, so grateful for choosing to prioritize love… 

Building authentic, aligned, unique inner architecture… 

Holding standards across all facets of life…

Leaning into creative obsession… 

And to the unbecoming that opened up space for the becoming.

At the very core, love was the foundation of every decision I made.

Even when I’d look at my bank account and wonder aloud to Yuki and Moana how the hell we were going to afford our expenses for the month ahead.

In those dire, quiet moments, alone together in a cabin on the edge of the forest, they’d simply gaze at me with their soft, glowing, knowing eyes… and I could feel their trust, their certainty, that we’d come out the other side. That we’d be okay.

I imagine that sense was more a reflection of my own certainty in the path I’d chosen than any secret feline knowledge being transmitted, but choosing to believe that they knew I would walk the tightrope and come out the other side absolutely helped. 

Again, love made all the difference in the world.

Part of me thinks I couldn’t have walked this path without them, which may or may not be true. In this case, the truth doesn’t really matter. Only their love does.

That too, I’m forever grateful for, and proud of, having earned.

… Apparently I miss those two silky-soft house panthers dearly. Which I suppose makes sense, as I cross the threshold into the longest time we’ve been apart.

So as the sun dips behind the mountains, I shall retreat into the night.

With love from the Austrian hills,

~ Alexander