My First Date with Jinx

Last Friday, Jinx unfurled into full bloom. 

Adorned in an oversized black shirt splattered with hot pink and electric blue… 

Rocking lavender shorts that really needn’t have been there…

Hips and heart thrumming with years of caged rhythm…

Smelling sweetly of rose before the sweat took over…

Eyes glinting with mischief and play…

We went on our first proper date together, slinking over to Vancouver for a night of silliness amongst a tidal wave of drum’n’bass music with two dear friends. 

And holy, sacred, alchemical hell did we ever have an absolute blast. But the fun didn’t only lie in a night of dancing with friends, or experiencing music I love live.

Fun also came in crossing thresholds. In watching proof unfold that I’ve changed how I show up in the world. In realizing the breakthroughs forged in The Cabin’s quiet sanctity had followed me. Into the big city, into the rave, into everyday life.

Amidst the sea of snares, in the hush before the drops, between sweaty hugs with strangers, these were the moments of inner alchemy that stuck with me:

The Wall Buster

I made more friends at this show than I have at any other. While I’ve always been open to interacting with strangers in this setting, I also recognize I kept some walls up—but no more. The walls I once held firm are no longer fit for purpose.

The Space Claimer

I allowed more of my hands, arms, and upper body into my dancing than ever before. I once chained these parts out of respect for those around me, or so I told myself. But on Friday, not wanting to be squeezed by the crowd, I challenged myself to claim more space—which felt delightfully freeing and came with the lovely side effect of carving out more room for dancing with abandon.

The Gleeful One

I laughed. I hooted. I hollered. I smirked, bared my teeth, and let my tongue do whatever it pleased. I celebrated the birthday of someone I’ll never see again.

The Dancing Lover

I realized I’ve embodied comfort and ease with dancing (and with being seen dancing by others) to the point where I’d rather be on stage than in the crowd.

The Everyday Raver 

As I walk through the doors and often before, I’m already grooving, even if I can’t hear the music. Making the shift from everyday reality into the rave has become so smooth, so seamless that I’m wondering if Rave Me isn’t just Everyday Me.

The Troglodyte

Culture Shock, the headliner, played two songs I was hopeful for but never expected to hear given they were released in 2012 and 2019. Yet blessed we were! One was a vocal sample from a personal favourite of his that he buried deeeeep into another song, like a sonic watermark that felt placed there just for me.

The Onstage Surprise

After being friendly, respectful, repeat customers of one of the bartenders, he offered to get the three of us up on stage—which had major personal significance that I’ll share in Friday’s Whimsie. And that was after he’d given us an extra bottle of water, the extra Red Bull from our jägerbombs, and even offered up his chicken strips.

The Moment of Holiness

Only made possible due to lingering onstage after the show ended, I literally ran into one of the openers when finally leaving. Which was a big deal for a few reasons:

1. I saw one of his first drum’n’bass sets in December 2023 but none since. So I was excited to see how he’d grown since then, and good lord… night and day! The tentative novice who stitched sound with shaky hands now conjured fire like it was his birthright. I’d thought how neat telling him that face-to-face would be, but didn’t think I’d actually get the chance.

2. I’d brought 6 light-up hair scrunchies to give as gifts, and by the end of the night I had one left. During his set, I’d considered throwing one at him but decided not, as that seemed rude and intrusive. Again, I didn’t think I’d get the chance to give him one, let alone one face-to-face. But lo and behold!

3. For reasons I still don’t fully understand, he was who came to mind as my ideal first collaborator in what I have to share with you on Friday. So I was thrilled to get an in-person interaction with him before bringing that up.

While all the above was so fucking wonderful, the crown jewel still remains: 

The Mirror Unbroken

More so than any of the couple dozen shows I’ve been to since July 2023, on this occasion, I felt more free, secure, and confident than I have in a loooong time, maybe ever… And most importantly: I felt like the most honest expression of me.

Which at the end of the night, has been the central goal of all the spiritual cleansing, energetic flossing, and inner alchemy that I’ve been focused on this year.

To remember who I am… 

To define the myth I choose to live…

To embody that mythic version of myself.

We have arrived.

And there’s no going back.

With love from the forest,

~ Alexander

P.S. If you caught the mentions of Friday’s Whimsie and raised a brow, delicious.

I’m going to peel back the velvet curtain on a different kind of stage. One where I wasn’t dancing, but singing… for the first time in 27 years. 

'Tis the tale of a voice I'd forgotten I had, and what happened when I broke the lock.