Standards

Somewhere deep in the forest, sinking into the earth, buried beneath a layer of moss, melting into, feeding, and integrating with the mycelial network…

Lies the version of me who let his standards be extinguished.

The version of me who stopped believing in his dreams.

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Standards for loving and being loved. 

Standards for meeting the world.

Standards for being and doing.

We all have dreams, visions, ideals for how we want our lives to look and feel. The kind of people we want to have around us. How we spend our time and energy.

Those dreams, visions, and ideals are all possible.

But possibility doesn’t guarantee reality.

Realizing much of what you want requires passing through the discomfort of shedding skins, identities, and versions of yourself too small to hold your dreams.

To become who you aren’t yet, you must release who you are.

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Depending on those around you, you may find yourself feeling unsupported, dismissed, even mocked, ridiculed, and shamed for how you want to live your life.

And of course, reality likes to hurl wrenches in the form of bills, responsibilities, expectations, random accidents, unexpected twists, and the blasted luck of the draw.

So much so that, quietly, sneakily, our standards degrade.

Our dreams slowly feel less inevitable, more impossible.

In other words, we settle.

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I’m no exception, and I learned this the hard way.

I settled into a business that made good money, but I came to loathe.

I settled into a relationship that was comfortable and safe, but not aligned.

I settled into chronic pain that gave me valid excuses to hide in, but shrank me.

In every instance, I let the bar I’d once set for myself tumble.

Without standards to meet and uphold, you become less of who you are.

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Without enforcing your boundaries, to others and yourself, your standards crumble.

Life is so much brighter and lighter when you live to your truth, desires, and vision.

This isn’t selfish, arrogant, or exclusive.

This is simply, honestly, deeply understanding yourself and choosing to live in total alignment: to choose your truth over the expectations or examples of others.

Not everyone will be able to stick with you, and that’s okay.

Those who can will find you—that’s how alignment works. 

This way of living may not resonate with you, may raise your hackles.

That’s okay too. You don’t have to alter your approach if you don’t want to. If your hackles are raised though, get curious about why. You might find some surprises.

But if this way of meeting the world does resonate yet feels out of reach, stay close.

This, perhaps more than anything else, I can help with.

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Somewhere deep in the forest, rising from the earth, cracking through a layer of moss, having been broken down and remade by the mycelial network…

Emerges the version of me whose standards are fires to tend.

The version of me who believes in his dreams once more.

With love from the forest,

~ Alexander