The Elixir of Delusional Belief

In 2016, I left Starbucks to build my fitness business carrying three tools:

1. $1600/month from coaching, promised only for the next two months.

2. My trusty laptop.

3. A perhaps delusional belief that I’d make things work, somehow.

The latter was by far the most useful.

Believing so strongly, deeply, and firmly that I’d be okay allowed me to build MASSthetics to a point of financial comfort, and made leaping into copywriting a breeze. 

By 2019 I was grooving, had built up a solid network, and stacked enough momentum to keep things rolling forward long after my spirit turned to ash.

As the ash piled up, my self-belief dimmed, flickered, then guttered.

Bye-bye, beautiful.

One of my greatest assets, accessible no more. 

No wonder I felt stuck, lost, hopeless…

Anyway, that’s enough grave-digging. 

I’ve realized over the past few weeks that the delusion is baaaaaaaack. 

I swept away the ash, found the ember, rekindled the fire, and built a blaze.

Hello, Delusional Belief, my dearly beloved.

Without this belief, I wouldn’t be sharing openly about my dream of singing on drum’n’bass songs or performing onstage. I might never have started singing at all.

Most delightfully, nurturing delusional belief will have a bleeding effect into other areas of your life. Just you try isolating self-belief like this into one facet of your life without others being affected. Good luck!

In my case, I’ve begun playing with the idea of hosting forest raves.

(How neat would that be?)

I’ve accepted a belief I long held but never admitted to myself in full… 

That mythic, magical, holy, chosen love exists if you’re patient and discerning. That so long as I sing, write, and let my body and intuition guide my decisions, all will be well.

And that there’s no need to force or grasp or hurry to get what I want in life. Instead, staying in alignment and focused on what I love most will bring all I seek.

On the surface, these beliefs look like madness.

(Perhaps they are.)

But I’d rather chase the impossible than the safe, easy, or realistic. Big asymmetric gambles with mythic reward and a dollop of insanity are my favourite potions.

I mean, how else is someone who only started singing in their 30s supposed to end up being part of songs or perform onstage? And even if neither dream is realized, the adventure already unfolding in chasing them is proving its own harvest to feast upon.

For reward isn’t only accolade or stage, but the song that tumbles and spills out of me all-day long, and the reborn delusional belief that the impossible is inevitable.

With love from the forest,

~ Alexander