4 Weeks of Song

Imagine waking up, and instead of yawning, lyrics tumble from your lips.

Picture yourself going about your morning rituals, caffeinating (or not), showering (or not), dressing (probably), stretching (maybe), eating (perhaps)... and all the while, you dance through the morning stillness to a subtle rhythm only you can hear.

Then there’s the humming, an involuntary thing, mimicking the gentle rush of a dripping tap, the ding of a timer, scales rising and falling absentmindedly.

Every step, a beat. Every breath, a hum. Every blink, a moment of rest.

That’s the beautiful madness I’ve been steeping in.

I’ve begun my 5th week of structured song practice, and…

Goddamn…

Rhythm has rewired pulse into subbass, breath into magic, and marrow into song. 

I feel less human, more like a harmonica. 

Three hours of practice most days is so paying off.

My breath holds instead of running out, most of the time. My tone is shifting quickly from static to smoke. My pitch is more accurate by the day, sometimes even from morning to night. I lead the song more often than I chase it, at least the ones I know well. And these changes are seeping into my everyday voice too, which is neat.

This adventure in song has been so unexpected, even if I did inadvertently set it in motion back in the winter by naming the desire to find my voice. How silly of me to think that would stay within the realm of writing, as I intended at the time.

Anyway, I feel like Yuki returning home with an eagle (somehow) clenched in her jaws and a grin wide enough to shame the moon. Building confidence in singing so quickly has been quite the ride. Where the ride will go…

I’d like to collaborate with drum’n’bass producers. And there’s the stage. 

I don’t have control over those outcomes though, so I hold them with love, gently, ready for release. Incredible peaks as they’d be, the changes already carved into my marrow have been prize enough from pulling on this thread of song.

Even so, I can’t help but feel that this path is leading somewhere incredible. 

Braiding joy, identity, and ambition is rare, something I’ve never managed before. 

Add in The Elixir of Delusional Belief and my ever-deepening understanding of The Way of the Braid, and the sense of inevitability grows too strong to ignore. 

I’ll share more on this in the weeks ahead, but I’ve also knocked open a door that leads into the inner circle of Vancouver’s drum’n’bass scene. The path is lit.. and sometimes there’s disco balls and lasers and fire and confetti tiny trash.

Since The Voice I Didn’t Mean to Find in late June, life has snapped into a rooted, steady, strong feeling of alignment at a startling and lovely pace.

So, next step: I’m sharing my first public song on September 24th. 

My birthday, a fitting time for such a gift.

Perfection is questionable, but a song will be sung.

With love from the forest,

~ Alexander